Should Cheryl Cole be a “Girl Aloud”? Better that she be seen but not heard!!

March 27, 2010

It’s been reported that Simon Cowell, architect of The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent, has hired Ellis Watson, a former managing X Factor logo IIdirector of Trinity Mirror, as chief executive of his Syco Entertainment venture.  As he hires one potential asset to his empire, perhaps he should consider firing Cheryl Cole, who is in danger of becoming a liability to his organisation.

Cheryl ColeCheryl Cole is undoubtedly a very attractive human being. She has a face and dimples “to launch a thousand ships”, with a very endearing personality to match. What unfortunately she doesn’t possess is a great, or even good singing voice. As a member of Girls Aloud, she is carried by stronger vocal elements within the ensemble. Her pursuit of a solo career during a sabbatical from Girls Aloud, has cruelly exposed her technical deficiencies as a singer – no amount of distracting dancers and props at the Brit Awards could alter the fact that she displays weak vocals. Infact on subsequent live shows, there has been a strong suggestion that she was lip synching. (more…)

Nostalgia is not a thing of the past – it sells, just ask Oxo as their classic advert returns to TV

March 25, 2010

Premier Foods have recently announced that Linda Bellingham will be returning to our screens as the Oxo “Super Mum”, albeit a generation on she will presumably have graduated to “Super Grandma”!!

Oxo logoCould it be that as the consumer faces a protracted period of enforced austerity as citizens of “bankrupt, broken Britain”, the advertisers and brand managers have decided that a good dose of old fashioned nostalgia is just the fillip we all need?! It might just make the bitter pill of the continuing recession, slightly easier to swallow.

There’s no doubt that the TV commercials of the 1970s evoke a feel good factor that we rarely find in contemporary society. Who can forget mother and daughter at the kitchen sink, extolling the virtues of “Mild Green Fairy Liquid”? Or indeed the amateurish looking, Doctor Who-eque aliens laughing at the human race’s labour intensive  potato peeling in the “For Mash get Smash” adverts? The fact that the re-constituted powdered potato left much to be desired, doesn’t seem to matter thirty years on!! (more…)

The BBC should not be shamed into closing down the cutting edge 6 Music – instead we should close the House of Commons!!

The clamour for the re-instatement of BBC 6 Music is growing vociferously and vocally day by day.

John PeelAnd that’s the way it should be!! BBC 6 Music provides a half way house for listeners too mature for Radio One, but not “geriatric” enough for Radio Two. It is inventive, creative and champions new music, as a legacy of the mandate left by the legendary, late and lamented John Peel. It seems that the BBC is being shamed into making unnecessary cuts to perfectly valid services, in order to appease public opinion, fuelled by the opportunistic Conservative Party, devoid of real policies in the build up to the General Election. It is criminal that the Conservatives are making political mileage from the bandwagon driven by the post Brand / Ross faux pas last year. (more…)

Eddie Izzard is a modern day Herculean Hero

March 22, 2010

Rarely in this cynical old society and world that we live in, does something impress so much that it keeps coming back to haunt your subconcious. This has been the case with Eddie Izzard’s 43 marathons in 51 days, for the “worthy” Sport Relief.

Such is the magnitude of Eddie Izzard’s achievement, it almost dwarfs Hercules’ tasks in  Greek mythology – had Izzard been around a couple of millenia ago, surely Homer would have included him in his “Iliad”?!!  In an era where we have to suffer the self Eddie Izzardaggrandisement and narcissism ( see also the fable of Narcissus in Greek mythology ) of celebrities, most of whom are totally vacuuous, this was an awe-inspiring act of selflessness for a great cause!! His drive, determination, resilience and sheer bloodymindedness are to be admired!! On top of that, Izzard’s constantly cheerful, positive, optimistic and pragmatic disposition defied belief – surely this is no homo sapien, but an alien from outer space, governed by different laws of physics!!

Never mind a paltry presence in Madame Tussaud’s waxwork museum, we should erect a bronze statue in Trafalgar Square, where Eddie Izzard’s Herculean task came to an end.  Although, I’m sure the transvetite facet of Eddie’s personae would prefer to replace the cupid-esque Statue of Eros in Piccadilly Square!!