Sky Sports should replace Andy Gray and Richard Keys with Sooty and Sweep!!

February 1, 2011

The annals of TV history are filled with great comedy double acts – from the sublime Morecambe and Wise and the Two Ronnies to the ridiculous Cannon and Ball and Little and Large; not to forget the loveable Sooty and Sweep and Kermit and Miss Piggy. Andy Gray and Richard Keys have nothing in common with any of the former duos, bar the final one. In essence they are devoid of any sense of irony or humour , rendering them as no more than muppets from the bygone era of the politically incorrect 1970s!!

If Andy Gray and Richard Keys had even shown the modicum of humour displayed very sparingly by Cannon and Ball and Little and Large in the 1970s, they would have got away with their indiscreet remarks. Their disparaging, sexist comments came across as malicious due to a complete lack of humour. For this anachronistic pair, irony is something that you do once the clothes are dry at the end of the washing process!! Or correction, it’s something that women do, as part of their general domestic duties waiting on the man of the house!! They are humourless twirps, who clearly think that women are an inferior sex, who have no part to play in broadcasting and sport, other than for their own titillation and gratification!!

These two misogynists committed the cardinal sin of ignoring the first rule of broadcasting – whether you are in the studio, or doing an outside broadcast, the microphone is never off!! But they forgot an even more vital lesson – however long you have been on television, you should remember how lucky you are to be in that privileged position. And most importantly, as a TV presenter, with privilege comes responsibility – a responsibility to show decorum, humility and wisdom. A media presenter has the responsibility of being a role model.

I don’t think Andy Gray and Richard Keys will be missed in the slightest. They were both low on talent and high on pomposity and arrogance.  Their downfall was caused by their bloated egos and unfounded bombastic self importance. They will be easily replaced by Sky Sport. My vote goes to Sooty and Sweep, who will bring anarchical fun and humour to Sky Football, without offending and alienating Soo the viewer!!

Oh, and one other thing. Andy Gray and Richard Keys might consider in the quieter moments of their enforced retirement, that many men don’t fully understand the off side rule!!

Nobby Stiles sells World Cup medal for less than Wayne Rooney’s weekly wage: where’s the justice?!!

October 28, 2010

If there is a Footballing God, he works in a very mysterious way, and must be called “Injustice”. For as Wayne Rooney, having re-negotiated his Manchester United contract last week,  holidays in a seven star hotel in Dubai on full pay; ex Manchester United hero Nobby Stiles was forced to sell his 1966 World Cup medal for less than Rooney has earned on his holiday!! The World Cup medal, that represents a lifetime achievement finally went for £160,000; small change to Wayne Rooney. (more…)

Footballers like Wayne Rooney must learn the lesson that with privilege comes responsibility!!

September 18, 2010

Coca-Cola is thought to be considering dropping their sponsorship deal with Wayne Rooney, following allegations that he had sex with a prostitute while his wife Coleen was pregnant. According to a report in last week’s Sunday Times, executives at the soft drink company’s USA head office have ordered its British wing to axe the England and Manchester United star over concerns that the revelations will taint its image as a family-friendly brand. (more…)

Subbuteo returns to emphasise the chasm between the simple game of football of the 1970s and the modern day multimillion pound corporate industry.

September 4, 2010

A regional daily newspaper has found a new way around the ban on photographers imposed by Southampton Football Club – by using Subbuteo table football figures to recreate a match!! The Swindon Advertiser invented this surreal idea as a way of covering the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy match between Swindon Town and Southampton, as the latter brought in the controversial ban on press photographers at its ground last month, stipulating that newspapers should instead pay for images taken by its own professionals.

Although no longer possessing the power and clout they once had, regional papers have quite rightly refused to buy the club’s photos and many have found alternative ways of covering the game, including using pictures from cartoons.  Anthony Marshall, chief sports writer at the Swindon Advertiser, decided to use the popular football game of the 1970s, Subbuteo, to recreate key moments from the match.  He meticulously painted the plastic football players so they were in the correct colours and set up a pitch in the office of the local newspaper.  He then recreated  the match on the Subbuteo pitch and had photos taken of the key incidents.  Anthony Marshall summed up the farcical situation at St Marys, when he commented: ” Regardless of their history – when a club in the third tier of English football starts talking about image rights then you know something is drastically wrong with the game we all know and love.” (more…)